i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
