dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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