I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Holy sore nipples Batman
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize