8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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