If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
