the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
