she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The struggles of a small town man whore
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
