looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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