So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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