I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
