A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthdayâ€
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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