who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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