what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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