yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
