I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
