im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
