Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just threw up on my dentist
where does the pee come out of this thing
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize