Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
