Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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