Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
