I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
