absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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