doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
