i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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