just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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