Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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