So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
