I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
