I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
