can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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