you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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