i think my mom watched the whole time
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
