I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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