he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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