After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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