her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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