Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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