We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
