my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
