Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
