I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
