If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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