the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
