Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
