**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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