i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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