She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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