Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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