i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
