I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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