Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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