i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
