I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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