My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
