Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
