So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My life is pants optional.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
