he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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