could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
