why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
