Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
PANTIES FOUND
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