We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Are we still banned from the library?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
