I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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