sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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