I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
