Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Boobs are out for the taking
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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