ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
