I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
soo... how was my night?
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