When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
